By Kartini Knox
"I have some kind of infection, the doctor doesn't know what's wrong and I'm in bed, on painkillers and antibiotics, until who knows when", my friend groaned over the phone. I couldn't help feel sorry for her.
Maybe it was coincidence or maybe not, but in a spate of recent bad luck, she had slipped and injured herself, had her car dented and split up with her fiancée.
On reflection of our past conversations and exchanges, the idea flashed through my mind, that there was always something going wrong for her. Circumstances and situations had a tendency to go belly-up, leaving her in despair. Bad luck followed her around like a bad smell. Was she jinxed?
Not being the superstitious type, it dawned on me that maybe her problems could be pinned to her attitude. We've all had days when we got out of the wrong side of bed and things got progressively worse as the day went by. If anybody deserved the label "Misery Guts" tattooed across their forehead - she was one of those people.
When not ranting on about her job, her colleagues, deadlines, rules and regulations, she would moan about her salary, which wasn't enough she said, to compensate for all the headaches she put up with in the line of duty. "Phone bills, car bills!" she'd sigh. Apparently, her monthly pay packet never lasted long enough - (a daily fact of life for most of us!)
Apart from her working life, her personal life was a frequent topic of mind-numbingly repetitive grumbling.
Her rants about how her nearest and dearest constantly disappointed her were not only restricted to coffee-shop conversations. Whenever somebody incurred her wrath (and it didn't take much - forgetting her birthday would do the trick) she would have no qualms about expressing her temperamental frustration online through Facebook for all to see. If she was expecting sympathy, it had the opposite effect. The next thing we'd hear about would be how the latest love of her life had deserted her. I wasn't surprised. Her attitude was enough to scare anybody away!
That's not to say I didn't sympathise with her. But her attitude needed a makeover! It's no secret that positive thinkers seem to have better luck than negative people. On the other end of the spectrum, her on-going resentments and disgruntlements were taking over her life! Any redeeming qualities she had once possessed were fast disappearing, along with her sense of humour. This girl could never remain cordial with anybody for long, and was constantly picking fights for no reason, other than what could be put down to her personal insecurities. Her lack of faith in herself and low self-esteem seemed to drive away friends, old and new. Apart from providing an open ear to her dramas, there was nothing I could do to help, short of telling her to stop being such a grouch!
You may have had a terrible childhood, spent half your working life unemployed and had your pet cat die on you after paying a fortune on vet bills, but limiting the chronic commiserating with friends, will do wonders for your social life!
If you've known a Chronic Complainer, who'd rather blame others than accept responsibility or look into their own character flaws, forget about offering any sound advice. It will fall on deaf ears.
If any of these Perpetual Pessimists are reading this, then maybe this is a wake-up call - to change your attitude and change your life!
Source: Weekend, 21 March 2009
No comments:
Post a Comment